The first time when I had to "let it go" was a few weeks ago. I received a phone call from a concerned parent in regard to their student's grade. I have never had to deal with an angry or upset parent before and the conversation was a little disheartening....especially since I was trying to hard to explain the situation and that there had been a miscommunication. The parent said that they weren't calling to ball me out and tell me that I was a bad teacher but that they were just really concerned. But they proceeded to bring up issues from the beginning of the year and to say things that were not very kind. Well, I got off the phone with the parent and had done my best "customer service" approach that I could with the parent, putting my own feelings and emotions aside to make sure that they were happy. I wanted to cry when the conversation was over, but I got in control of myself and decided to just go on with my day and not worry about it. But the conversation went over and over in my mind that day. Still, I was alright, but then I received another e-mail from a different parent whose student was friends with the other student whose mom had called me that morning. They also were angry with me. I lost it. I cried. A lot. I wanted to just quit my job. What was the point of caring so much about EACH AND EVERY ONE of my students if they were just going to turn around and go complain and have their parents call and yell at me? I was so down that I didn't think I could act like nothing was wrong while I was teaching.
The next few days were really hard. I went to school. I was able to be fine with my other class but the one with the students whose parents had gotten angry with me was difficult. I had two thoughts come across my mind about that experience while I was teaching. Thought one: "Now you know how to treat the teachers that your children have. Be gentle with them. Be kind. Be understanding. More than likely they are trying their best to help your child learn to the best of their ability." Yes indeed. LESSON LEARNED! I hope I can be a little more kind and understanding to every teacher whether it' mine or my child's.
Thought number two: "One reason why you are going through this is so that you can be prepared for elementary school. It's better to get the worst complaint, the first complaint, over with now so next time it won't seem so horrible." Okay Heavenly Father...I think I get that. Now how do I get through this? How will I every be the same with these students again and get back to being happy and my usually fun self? I guess it took me time and Heavenly Father softening my heart. No matter what those students were still MY students. How could I stop loving them and caring about them like the others just because of one really tough situation. Of course my feelings were really hurt, but maybe it wasn't their fault about their parents getting mad at me, but even if it was, what would Jesus do? How would he treat them? Would he give up on them? Probably not. So after the anger and hurt subsided I tried again. I tried to have compassion. I got back in my groove and tried to get that positive energy back again. Even though I sometimes still get that sad feeling in the pit of my stomach about what happened, I was eventually able to "let it go".
Situation number two about letting it go: Last night I got to play in a hockey game with my team. I haven't been able to play for the past two seasons because I have been so busy with work and school. They have been a little short-handed lately for the games so they asked me if I wouldn't mind playing in a few games. I agreed to even though I was a little nervous after not being on the ice for so long. But funny enough at the first game that I played in at Logan I was much more relaxed and things seemed to be going really well out there as I was playing. I was even on defense and have never played that position before in my life! Granted I did get hit with the puck right in the shin and I took a little tumble that just about threw out my back and my neck, but hey I was doing alright! The next game I played at I didn't do too bad either. Of course there were plenty of mistakes that I made and I have a ton of things I need to work on, but again, I was doing alright! :) The girls on my team were so encouraging and they kept telling me what a good job I was doing. It meant a lot!
I figured out that one of the reasons why things were going so much better during the games than they usually do was because I was "letting it go". I was just out to have fun. I didn't worry so much about if I was in the wrong position or not or whether I let someone get by me and let the team down, I just played my best. That is all I can give and as I let everything else go it made all the difference in the world and it was a BLAST to be out on the ice again.
One of my greatest weaknesses is feeling like I am not good enough. I am really hard on myself sometimes. I guess that is like many women. The lessons I have learned lately about letting things go have been so invaluable to me. One of my professors told me and my classmates at the beginning of the elementary ed. journey: "You elementary ed. majors are such perfectionists! You have to have the 4.0 and everything has to be done right now! Sometimes you need to let that one assignment go to keep your sanity! Relax!" It was some of the best advice I have ever been given. Stop feeling like you need to be perfect! Don't let everything get you down if you make a mistake. Don't let other people get you down. Put down the homework and get out there and do something fun! Money isn't everything! Things always work out for the best! Heavenly Father wants you to be happy! So get out there, let it go, and live!
--Megan
Me and my hockey team. I'm #78.
Love this and love you!
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